Comparing ourselves to others has become a way of life. We all do it. Her job is better…she’s skinnier than me…I wish I had her house…she has more money than I do…I would do anything to have her legs, I hate mine…why don’t I have the same kind of free time as she does…and so on and so on. It’s a very dangerous and slippery slope. As soon as we compare ourselves to others we are diminishing the wonderful things we have going for us. Surely your life can’t be that bad.
I myself have been guilty of this since having my baby. I find myself happy, with a beautiful and healthy baby girl, a wonderful husband, a home and job I love, unyet I compare. My biggest comparison would be body image related. When you’re pregnant, you get told all the time how beautiful you are and how amazing you look. After the baby, the compliments come to a screeching halt. Now you’re just a fat mom trying to loose your baby weight. You now get sympathy looks and pep talks. “Hang in there.” “You’ll loose the weight.” Although the good intentions are there it seems like every comment is a validation that I’m fat and currently look brutal, but cuteness is just around the corner “when I get more of a routine”.
So where does the comparison come in? My world is very online. I’m a blogger, I’m on social media all the time, and while I love it, there are many slaps in the face that hit me every time I log on. I am in awe of the new moms who have been able to post cute outfit pics of themselves just weeks after having their baby. Rewind to just weeks after having had my baby….I was an all day milking machine wearing some sort of muumuu type thing {No, not MiuMiu}. A shower in a day was a major victory. Leaving the house, dressed, was an award worthy moment. So who are these girls? Why do they look so good? How are they so skinny already? Why can’t I get my sh*t together to be a {perceived} Wonder Woman? And here come the comparisons.
While I admire these women for putting themselves out there and rocking it, I’m here to acknowledge the mommies like me or any ladies who feel like they can’t “keep up”. Keeping up with the Jones’ {or the Kardashians} is a counter productive use of your time. You are who you are. Look to other women who inspire you and help motivate you to make improvements to your life. Ignore those who bring you down {even if it’s unintentional}. Embrace your truth.
My truth:
* I gained more than 30 pounds during my pregnancy
* I am not fitting my pre-baby clothing
* I currently hate any shoe with a heel
* Taking off PJ’s and putting on sweat pants counts as getting dressed
* my house does not look perfect….ever!
* as much as I love when my baby sleeps, my favourite part of my day is when she wakes up
* I put on a bit of makeup everyday because it makes me feel pretty
* I LOVE BEING MADELYN’S MOM
I am working on eliminating dangerous comparing from my life. I have so many wonderful people and things to be grateful for and should focus on that. After all, if I just hang in there, the weight will come off when I get a bit more of a routine;) How about you? Do you compare?
2 Comments
Liane
April 16, 2014 at 10:17 amThis is an excellent blog. We all compare but we just need to learn to relax and enjoy.
LineysMama
April 24, 2014 at 11:40 pmWhat it all boils down to is every baby is different. My beautiful little boys number one demand from the day we brought him home was me! And what and an amazing demand that is. This meant nursing every hour and, for us, sharing the same sleep space. I smelled bad and wore leggings for the first 6 months! But I had the happiest baby on the block (sorry for the clichè) and nothing brings me more joy. Most of my friends lost their baby weight in the first 6 months. I did not. I also gained 45lbs during my pregnancy, they did not. Now being a trendier self professed fashionista myself you can imagine how his made me feel. At first I replaced my own fashion fix by turning my little guy into somewhat if a fashion icon himself, but that wasn’t going to cut it for long. When I first felt comfortable leavin my little guy for a couple hours at a time (about one year, I know it was me that had separation anxiety!) I splurged on a What it all boils down to is every baby is different. My beautiful little boys number one demand from the day we brought him home was me! And what and an amazing demand that is. This meant nursing every hour and, for us, sharing the same sleep space. I smelled bad and wore leggings for the first 6 months! But I had the happiest baby on the block (sorry for the clichè) and nothing brings me more joy. Most of my friends lost their baby weight in the first 6 months. I did not. I also gained 45lbs during my pregnancy, they did not. Now being a trendier self professed fashionista myself you can imagine how his made me feel. At first I replaced my own fashion fix by turning my little guy into somewhat if a fashion icon himself, but that was going to cut it for long. When I first felt comfortable leaving my little guy for a couple hours at a time (about one year, I know it was me that had separation anxiety!) I splurged on a personal trainer (one day a week). That coupled with the realization I was going to have to start cooking small meals for my little guy, I changed the way my husband and I ate. This was the best thing I could have ever done for me And my family. I lost all 45lbs plus a little extra and feel better than I have in years. I now have the tools I need to work out on my own and show my child the importance of healthy eating and exercise. So I guess what I am saying is own it! It’s such a short period of time and before you know if you’ll be THAT mom dropping your kids off at school in all the latest trends. Spread love and give compliments to all your fellow mommies because we’ve all been there!